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“It’s stupid, contagious
To be broke and famous
Can someone please save us from punk rock 101
My Dickies, your sweat bands
My spiked hair, your new Vans
Let’s throw up our rock hands for punk rock 101″
‘Punk Rock 101’ – Bowling For Soup

I had a message via MySpazz yesterday saying how the Punk Workshop I was running sounded like a great idea and this guy was going to try get some of his friends to come along.

Now, hopefully, it was a simple typo that was supposed to read ‘Punk Worship‘ and the poor lad wasn’t actually expecting a workshop on how to be punk…

In case I am actually mistaken and he WAS wanting a punk workshop then below is my quick guide on how to be punk depending on your age:

Young Punk:

  • ensure your wardrobe consists solely of: atticus, lowlife, vans or black clothing
  • deny you are ’emo’
  • slag Green Day off for ‘selling out’ after releasing [insert any Green Day album title here]
  • listen only to the latest ‘cool’ bands
  • claim loudly that [insert last week’s ‘cool’ band here] have sold out because they got radio airplay
  • only go to see your mates bands and download their cd instead of supporting them
  • have a MySpace page with your friends made up of bands you’ve never seen and your school chums
  • explain to everyone that being ‘punk’ is about not following fashions and thinking for yourself then go around dressing the same as everyone else…

Old Punk:

  • hate new punk rock groups for at least one of the following reasons: they have good quality recordings, they’re in it for the money, they’re too young, it’s just not ’77
  • wear an old, tatty leather jacket with some dodgy 70’s bands Tipp-Ex-ed onto it
  • go on constantly about ’77-’79
  • show how much you ‘hate the system’ by working 9-5, 5 days a week, for a multi-national company that exploits cheap labour in China
  • explain to everyone you meet that ‘punk’ is about not following rules or a fashion but then dress the same as every other punk and slag off various groups for not fitting the punk rules that, according to your own beliefs, don’t exist anyway…
  • never shut up about the time you saw [insert any 70’s punk band here] at [insert any small pub name here]

OK, so that was slightly tongue-in-cheek, but some people annoy me! Having said that there are 2 ‘types’ of punk person that I respect:

  • 1) The young punk who’ll go to see old bands and respects the fact that this is where their current ‘new’ bands got a lot of their inspiration from
  • 2) The old punk who accepts that times change and will go to see and support the new punk bands

That’s all for now, I feel I may have babbled! Anyway, it’s not ‘punk’ to moan about stuff that’s not government (old punk) or fashion (young punk) related…