Dec 192007
 

Place names are usually fairly descriptive, for example Hill Top Road is a road at the top of a hill; Hill Top Fisheries is a Chippy at the top of a hill; Little John’s Kebab Hut is a kebab hut owned by a man called John who happens to be vertically challenged.

So, from that, what would you expect Four Lane Ends and Five Lane Ends to be? Logically it would be the point where 4/5 lanes meet, perhaps at a roundabout or at a traffic light controlled junction…? Well, you’d be wrong for thinking that! Here they are:




As you can see, Four Lane Ends would be better off called “One Lane Goes Through and Two Others End” and Five Lane Ends is clearly “Six Lane Ends”…

I wonder if it’s worth starting a one-man campaign to get their names changed?

MaFt

Sep 282007
 

Well, yes, it’s been over 10 weeks since I last blogged – and that was a rubbish one…

So, what have I been up to? Well, lots really! Still working hard though! The main reason for the lack of updates was my main PC dying. The motherboard died but it wasn’t just a case of replacing it. Noooo… stupid MaFt decided to have one of those Small Form Factor PCs (BioStar IDEQ) with proprietary innards. So, it was a new case and motherboard that I needed – slightly more expensive. Then I realised my PC was about 4 years old so none of the other, working, parts could be used with any new equipment… I had to buy a whole new system – the only bits I kept were the monitor, keyboard, mouse and DVD-burner. Also, thanks to the good folk on the GarminPOI.co.uk Mailing List who donated just over £200 the new stuff didn’t cost me anything. I just now need to get that site back up to date for everyone!

Our iron also passed-away, as has my digital camera and my camcorder… However, JVC offered to fix the camcorder for free (even three years out of warranty) as it has a faulty CCD which has caused problems in virtually every unit they were put in. So that was nice of them, shame Olympus want £150 to fix the camera (which I could buy new for less).

Punk Worship 3volution
is fast approaching too and this time we’ve opted for early Saturday mornings for practises seeing as that’s the only time slot free between the four of us…

Oh, before I finish, here’s a great big thanks to TrixMoto for writing a script for me for MediaMonkey 3 to upload my currently playing song via FTP so I can link to it in the panel on the left! Clever stuff eh?! Also, FoxyTunes added a blogger thingy-ma-bob that shows the world what was on when I typed the post too.

See ya

MaFt

—————-
Now playing: Bowling For Soup – Ohio (Come Back To Texas)
via FoxyTunes

May 062007
 

Whoever thought up this one was a flippin’ genius! I mean, normally you get a one year guarantee on something that you can guarantee will break after one year and a day. However, the cunning marketing people at far too many companies obviously realised that instead of spending all that R&D; money designing products that fail exactly one year and twenty-four hours after their first use, they could do it another way.

Simply give the product a ‘lifetime’ guarantee! You see, it is guaranteed to work for the product’s lifetime – as soon as it breaks, it’s guarantee has passed! The products lifetime is over and so, therefore, it it’s guarantee. Clever sods, aren’t they?!

And so, in keeping with this fine tradition, I offer a lifetime guarantee for this blog. It will always be here, right up until it’s not!

MaFt

 Posted by at 10:56 pm  Tagged with:
Apr 252007
 

Dinosaurs and humans lived on Earth at the same time.

[please note that this post worked better when the images linked correctly… have a read of this to see them: http://www.creationists.org/mananddinos.html]

How else can you explain the images on these Inca burial stones from 500-1500AD?

Or this Aboriginal painting from Queensland

Or a Buddhist temple carving in Cambodia from around 1200AD:

If dinosaur bones were only din the last 200 or so years then how come there re some damn-good depictions of them knocking about from waaaaaaaaaaay before then? The simple answer: they lived only thousands of years ago as opposed to millions and at the same time as humans!

MaFt

Mar 302007
 

One of the down-sides to working from home is the sever lack of blog material I encounter. Working at Leeds Uni was great as I used to commute via bus, train and foot every day. When I was at Nektar I had loads of time doing nothing (and getting paid for it) so blogging was easier. However, now I’m working at home I tend not to come across any peculiar folk that I can write about. Unless, that is, you’re interested in the Jehovah’s Witness who called round the other day; or the seemingly unendless cold callers telling me I’m entitled to a government grant for free cavity wall insulation – free if you’re on benefits. Although I’m told they offer a 50% discount if you’re not – hardly free though, is it? Twice they rang today! If you think that having regular phone calls asking if we sell the finest Indian spices is fun then let me know and I can blog about that for you too… I could tell you about Kia the cats smelly breath as she huddles up next to me on the couch, but it’s hard to explain the smell with words – if you’ve ever done a dissection then I can tell you that her breath smells like the innards of a pig, actually, no, probably more like the innards of a chicken.

So, anyway, I’m babbling! Catch ya later!

MaFt

Mar 222007
 

Why does Postman Pat always wear his uniform? I know a guy who used to be a postman and outside of working hours he dressed like a normal person. What sort of impression does that give to children? Postman Pat is one big lie and it’s about time something was done about it…


Postman Pat (in case you didn’t know)

MaFt

Mar 142007
 

Is it just mine or do everyone’s MSN conversations take bizarre twists and turns within a short time? Yesterday I was talking to Bli and what started off fairly normal (a broken car) soon turned a bit weird (poo-powered terrorists)…

Note that the colours have been changed to protect the innocent and the poor spelling left intact to protect our status as retards:

Bli says:
my car blew up on the way back to work the other day
MaFt says:
nasty
Bli says:
lot of smoke n stuff .. head gasket blew
MaFt says:
scary. did it go bang?
Bli says:
it did
MaFt says:
cool
Bli says:
on a very busy main road
Bli says:
with lotsa cars trying to go round me without getting too close
MaFt says:
you must smell…
Bli says:
nah .. prolly thought i was a suicide bomber
MaFt says:
wrong colour.
MaFt says:
but you DO have a beard…
MaFt says:
anyway, how can you be a suicide bomber if youve not killed yourself?
Bli says:
damn foiled again
MaFt says:
surel you would just be a potenial sicide bomber? in which case we all have that potential
Bli says:
a failed suicide bommber .. used the wrong fertilsier
MaFt says:
yeah, you can’t just use your own poo… muppet!
Bli says:
oh rrreeeeaaalllly…?

Right, that’s it for now, I’m off to Germany,

See ya!

MaFt

 Posted by at 12:10 pm  Tagged with: