Uncategorised » MaFt's Musings

You’re So Vain You Think This Blog Is About You

Mar 142007

Is it just mine or do everyone’s MSN conversations take bizarre twists and turns within a short time? Yesterday I was talking to Bli and what started off fairly normal (a broken car) soon turned a bit weird (poo-powered terrorists)…

Note that the colours have been changed to protect the innocent and the poor spelling left intact to protect our status as retards:

Bli says:
my car blew up on the way back to work the other day
MaFt says:
nasty
Bli says:
lot of smoke n stuff .. head gasket blew
MaFt says:
scary. did it go bang?
Bli says:
it did
MaFt says:
cool
Bli says:
on a very busy main road
Bli says:
with lotsa cars trying to go round me without getting too close
MaFt says:
you must smell…
Bli says:
nah .. prolly thought i was a suicide bomber
MaFt says:
wrong colour.
MaFt says:
but you DO have a beard…
MaFt says:
anyway, how can you be a suicide bomber if youve not killed yourself?
Bli says:
damn foiled again
MaFt says:
surel you would just be a potenial sicide bomber? in which case we all have that potential
Bli says:
a failed suicide bommber .. used the wrong fertilsier
MaFt says:
yeah, you can’t just use your own poo… muppet!
Bli says:
oh rrreeeeaaalllly…?

Right, that’s it for now, I’m off to Germany,

See ya!

MaFt

MONKEY!

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Mar 132007

Monkey’s are great, you can’t beat ‘em. So it was a great delight when I saw that PG Tips had stolen ITV Digital‘s advertising campaign of Johnny Vegas and Monkey to sell their bags of leaves.

The thing is, I only drink, on average, one cup of tea a month. I’m too lazy to put the kettle on, stick a tea bag in a cup, stir it, add milk etc etc. Then, when I do bother I nearly always forget and by the time I’ve remembered the kettle’s gone cold again… A glass of water is much less work!

In order to get my free monkey I had to buy a box of 160 tea bags – remember: 1 tea bag per month. To get my ‘free’ monkey I have had to buy 13 years and 4 months worth of tea bags… Hardly ‘free’ is it?!

MaFt

Black & Blue

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Mar 092007

I got bored the other day and made a new image for my desktop:

It’s Mini-MaFt with his ‘haton’

MaFt

Brushes

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Mar 072007

A brush is a brush. It serves a very simple purpose: to brush things. And as such they were created as very simple, inelegant and pretty boring organisms. Take, for example a sweeping brush; It has a long pole with bristles on the end. The hair brush has a small handle with bristles on the end. The brush from a dust-pan and brush is a mid-point between these two – it has a medium sized handle with bristles on the end. Generally, the brush species each share the common traits of a handle with bristles on the end. Like I stated earlier, they are simple, boring creatures. They usually live hidden out of sight…

Why then do we put so much emphasis on the bog-brush? Why can’t we just let them be a natural species? Why do we need to genetically modify them to produce fancy looking things? Take these examples:

Considering this species of brush is generally used for swishing around in wee and poo infested toilets, you’d think they’d be bred to be a bit plainer like the other brushes…

MaFt

Busy Busy Busy

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Feb 282007

Last night I was up until about 1am sorting out both Mini-MaFt’s website and getting my head around setting up a Cron job and associated php script to automatically create a backup of a MySQL database…

It was fun, and we got there in the end with some help from the excellent Support guys at Blackfoot Hosting!

Having said that I’m only up to August 2006 for Mini-MaFt’s site so there’s still a bit more to do…

MaFt

Changes

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Feb 272007

I’ve (rather reluctantly) moved my blog back onto the Blogger hosting to take advantage of some of the new features available which they don’t let you use if you FTP to your own host…

Because of this you may need to change your link to the RSS feed, if you use it, to this: http://maftmaft.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

Cheers

MaFt

Not Again…

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Feb 262007

Carrying on from yesterdays mis-adventure I nearly did the opposite earlier on… King of Shaves shaving gel nearly went in my hair…! Luckily I noticed (unlike yesterday) and didn’t actually squeeze any out this time!

I blame a long night with little sleep (cheers Mini-MaFt!)

MaFt

Don’t You Just Hate It When…

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Feb 252007

You start using hair-gel instead of shaving-gel…

Animal Farm

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Feb 152007

Received this the other day:

Dear Reader

Petitioning the Prime Minister seems to be very much in vogue at present, with the media giving a great deal of coverage to Number 10′s dedicated website. A new petition has been set up via that website in support of animal research, stating:

Animal research has enabled scientists to find treatments for cancer, vaccines and antibiotics. This does not advocate using animals unnecessarily but animal research is required because sometimes there are no other viable alternatives. In addition it is unrealistic to force animal research to stop by a certain date since nobody can predict future scientific progress in finding other methods that produce accurate results compared with those from animal research. It is for these reasons this petition calls for continued support for animal research.

If you would like to support this petition, it can be found at: http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/animalresearch/

Thanks again for your continuing support.

Yours

Jo

Jo Tanner
Chief Executive
Coalition for Medical Progress

Go on, do it for the kids!

MaFt

The Verdict.

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Feb 122007

Anyone else watching this? It seems pretty good so far actually but like most ‘reality’ TV there’s a cynical part of me that thinks that it’s not going to actually be that real…

The 12 jurors (some random ‘celebrities’) have to decide the outcome of a rape case. The case is fictional and is based on evidence taken form actors after an unscripted, ad-libbed ‘event’. Because of this then surely the witnesses etc aren’t going to be realistic as they know all along what happened and that none of it was real… Also, the jurors know none of it was real so they’ll have to be very strict with themselves to treat it as such and not to just have fun with it.

Still, it’s good telly and the first proper use of my DVD Recorder too! What would have topped it all off though was if they had got Judge Judy to preside over the case!

MaFt