I would hope that most of my friends and family would be savvy enough not to fall for something like this but, just in case, here’s a brief overview of an attempted scam some Indian bloke just tried. He wasn’t alone either, as I could clearly hear at least two other people in the background.
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
…And as if by magic the pubs are now smoke-free!
In case you didn’t know, the UK smoking ban is now in place. Soon it’ll be illegal to fart in public too.
Now, go buy my stuff!
Well, here they are, the promised photo’s of our local Harrier Jumpjet! Shoetree and his lovely lady-wife came over yesterday so I took them for a drive to see the plane too
We were driving up to Queensbury yesterday along the Brighouse & Denholme Road and I happened to look out of the window. TO my surprise, there was a Harrier JumpJet in someone’s garden. Not a toy, an actual real Harrier JumpJet!
To confirm I wasn’t going mad, we stopped on the way back to make sure… And it was still there – a real, full-size, not a toy, Royal Navy Harrier JumpJet.
If you don’t believe me then head over to The Raggalds pub and it’s opposite there. I’ll try get a photo at some point!
Someone recently bought Mini-MaFt a ‘My First Remote Controlled Car’ as a “your not the special baby anymore but we feel sorry for you so here’s a present” gift. However, it doesn’t use RF as most radio controlled cars do, no, this one uses Infra Red.
Not a problem really – the car functions adequately in both forward and reverse using the supplied controller. It also functions adequately using any remote control in the house… You can be flicking channels and this little toy car starts rolling along the floor with it’s lights flashing away!
The thing is, it always catches me off guard and makes me jump when flicking between episodes of The Simpsons!
OK, even if the whole ‘eating a full pack of mini batenburgs‘ thing wasn’t piggish behaviour then I think this might be:
I ate four of them, it would have been five but I gave one way to a homeless child. Well, not quite homeless, I gave it to one of Mini-MaFt’s friends, Master-O – he was most pleased! I might get some more tomorrow
Whoever thought up this one was a flippin’ genius! I mean, normally you get a one year guarantee on something that you can guarantee will break after one year and a day. However, the cunning marketing people at far too many companies obviously realised that instead of spending all that R&D; money designing products that fail exactly one year and twenty-four hours after their first use, they could do it another way.
Simply give the product a ‘lifetime’ guarantee! You see, it is guaranteed to work for the product’s lifetime – as soon as it breaks, it’s guarantee has passed! The products lifetime is over and so, therefore, it it’s guarantee. Clever sods, aren’t they?!
And so, in keeping with this fine tradition, I offer a lifetime guarantee for this blog. It will always be here, right up until it’s not!
Mrs-MaFt has just accused me of being a pig. All I did was eat a pack of five mini battenburgs – I hardly feel that it deserves such a personal insult…
I blame the pregnancy hormones!
I’ve been designing a couple of t-shirts over the last week or so – please go vote for me cos I might win £500 and get my shorts printed!